Eye on the Flu Shot | 29Mar2016 20:41:23
Health Canada says the best way to avoid the flu is vaccination, which in many provinces is free. Well, let’s see if these recent flu shot recipients can help reveal the mystery of why Cheetos and Pop-Tarts list their ingredients while vaccines do their best not to.
(interviewer) Are you aware of the ingredients in the vaccine?
(woman 1) Uuuh, I know there’re some egg products.
(woman 2) I don’t think that they offer us a list of ingredients, though.
(man 1) That no, I don’t know. This is blind faith for me.
(interviewer) Did you know that there’s mercury in that shot?
(woman 3) No, I didn’t.
(man 1) Oh I did not, no
(interviewer) Are you glad that it’s free?
(woman 3) Yes
(interviewer) But you know it’s not really free?
(woman 3) Yes.
(man 1) Well, that’s paying through our taxes, right? So
(interviewer) If I sneeze right now, would you be ok with that?
(woman 3) No.
These people confirmed two things: Some are happy to wait in line for a secret serum and nobody likes getting sneezed on.
What if drug companies are right? What if tricking your body into thinking it’s already sick doesn’t make you sick?
What if there’s not enough vaccine to go around?
You should know that making your own is easier than brewing your own beer.
And it could save your life.
Well, the first thing you need is a live virus. Now, is there anyone here suffering from the flu?
Sir, would you favor us by discharging directly onto these chicken embryos?
(Actor) Uuh, maybe I can do that… atchooo!
Ok! Well, we now have our chicken embryos and our live virus.
Now from the pickled frog jar, your local school’s biology class, we’ll keep that virus dead like the drug companies do with formaldehyde.
Now careful, don’t get any frog in the mix. That’d be gross.
Now, let’s add a little ether. Careful, don’t fall asleep.
And then we dump some detergent in there – that keeps it clean.
And, remember when your mother lost her mind when you played with mercury because it never leaves your body? Well, that makes it a great preservative.
If you have a thermometer… Staying healthy is a lot more important than room temperature.
Now all of this goes into the centrifuge, like this blender, and – hey – hey – hey! It’s vaccine for the whole family!
Well, the debate over whether vaccines usually don’t work or aren’t really safe, may never end, which at least explains why the contents are rarely publicized.
(Actor) Ah, I’m fine, I’m fine, I’m just -- just --
But it’s government recommended!
Oh well, that my eye on the Flu Shot.